As my heart cries in pain...

The news took me behind by at least 15 years! 1995; a year i will never forget ! A year that made me grow into a more responsible woman !

I lost my dad; my friend, my guide, my role model, forever!

May 27th 1995, was the end of all the pain that he was going through. The pain that one can't spell out, a pain that is caused by one of the most feared diseases - yes, Cancer! A fast failing health since Jan 1995, but the fighter spirit kept him going for a few months more.

My dad was always active & fit. He had played football in his younger days, represented the Indian Railways and had played against one of the big clubs in West Bengal. His was a Centre Forward position in the field! He also played Tennis with equal skill!

He was someone who was disciplined & believed in "Simple living & high thinking". We heard this so many times when we were young and the world around us was changing fast! He was a man of commitment both in professional sphere & of course in his personal life. He was caring & respectful and life had not been very easy with him. He lost his dad; my grand dad, in the early years and had to put in a lot of effort to move up in his career and balance family responsibilities.

I saw my dad slowly get into confinement; first he stopped driving on his own, then, would just walk to the nearby shops to get small stuff for home, the movement got limited to within our flat in Kolkata and finally to his room & bed! He looked so helpless at times that I really wished there was some way I could help!

He had stopped reading, saying he didn't "feel like". Little did he know that I understood his weakening vision.

On very high dosage of medication to reduce the pain, he would still smile & say " ka karen duty par jana hai"

My dad , a proud man, a man who was always independent in thought, word & action, cried quietly in immense pain ! A pain so deep that one could never imagine its impact just by looking at this smiling, 5ft 11inch tall frame!

We chatted over evening cups of tea, he still " made decisions for the house", that's how he put it, still advised me on my career & studies, shared his experiences of the pre -independence days -1946 ;while he was in college R K mission in Belur and so many more events !

All the symptoms told me that he was reaching a point of no return & so fast that one could never imagine! It was only in the month of April , the last week, when the doctor treating him looked sad & worried.

I heard muffled crying deep at night, the pain must have been unbearable. In the morning he would again smile a "good morning" ,as we had tea together. God, I really wished there was a better way!

Today, my first cousin brother - Collin, as we fondly call him, is going through tremendous pain as he has been diagnosed for Cancer ! He too is a fighter and is a courageous & positive fellow. I have very fond memories of our childhood, during our visit to Delhi in 1973 and then when he spent summer vacation with us in Jamshedpur.

My writing today is a prayer for Collin, a quick recovery ,for his health, for strength & courage that he needs & we all need as a family.

Parrots in Distress!

( Picture taken from my Balcony on 23rd Aug morning)

Is it team work or a simple 'save the fraternity?'
Monday morning on the 23rd of August,as I sat sipping my hot cup of tea and reading the newspaper, the sudden increase in the decibels of chirping of birds caught my attention. Since it was a holiday for Onam, there was no hurry.
Stepping out, I saw at least 6 long tailed , green bodied, red beaked flying creatures!
Yes, there were so many Parrots – an unusual sight !
Even if I didn’t know the Parrot language, I could make out that there were reasons enough for the Panic!
They were flying all over the place, trying to peep into a narrow crack between the two apartment buildings across my verandah. What was wrong ? My curious self took over !
I saw the bigger of the birds, balancing on the parapet and peek into the crack! The others were squealing in panic as if crying out for help! There was a little parrot stuck in there!
Oh God , This was an area unaccessible to us without a scafolding and that at this time, was impossible!
They never gave up! Flew from one end to the other as if assuring each other and the little one “ Don’t worry , we are all there ! Everything will be fine!”
The Mynahs, who are the original residents of the place, and deftly move in & out of that little space, were also there, watching helplessly!
I stood, with my camera, clicking away & praying for their success!
I could feel their panic – these lovely creatures, some perched on the telephone wire, a lone fella , on the balcony of a flat, as if wondering ‘what will happen?’ They were trying out all tricks- placing & pushing with their red beaks into the cement, hanging from a higher place and so many other moves!
Strangely, the two big dogs in the apartment above kept them company! These are the most noisy fellows otherwise! Barking at the slightest disturbance! I guess they understood that these beautiful ones were facing a crisis! They held on to the balcony looking down silently – as if to say “ wish we could help!”
This was for almost an hour! They were able to get the little one out of the crack!
I found the zeal amazing,the honest attempts, the team work, their “never say die” attitude!
I reinforced my learning on life once again! Give a quiet support and never give up!
Life as they say is the biggest teacher!

Voice of the Hibiscus

( A Hibicus flower from my pot garden-stages of bloom)
It was only this morning, when I woke up,I heard her voice – came close to me with her tea cup
“Ah! Ma another beauty to bloom today!”
Her eyes bright, excitement in her voice, Yellow!, My color, has always been her choice.
‘Click’ went her camera, she caught me permanently in,

Its early hours, chirping of the birds, the morning air so thin.
“ Don’t pluck this flower!” came the stern instruction from her,

She turned to look at me, a smile, only for me , as soft as fur!
‘Bloom dear one, I love you so, Lets have each day brighter than before.’
Then the birds came in and the Sun rose in the bright blue sky,

I stretched a little more –peering to see the world, raising myself to a greater high!.
Must have been an hour or two, she was back, oh how I love her too!
I wish she could hear me say “Good morn, my life Is short- only a day; that begins with the dawn”
I saw her eyes; bright with the smile, ‘Click’ went the camera for a second time!
“Will I see this flower in full bloom?” – I could read her mind;

She didn’t want to leave me ,for a whole day,behind.
I have another hour before for work she leaves,

I’ll be gone when she returns, my life is so brief!
I saw her sad eyes at this very thought,

She loves us all – in her small garden, her mother has taught!
Just as I pushed myself and bloomed to my fullest best,

In the dinning hall, the clatter of plates & spoons were put to rest.
“Ma! look at the bloom", I heard her shout, all so proud like a little boy scout!
‘Click’ went her camera , I swayed in happiness & glee, At last I’m done and now am free!
The whole day I shall spend looking up at the sun,

Listening to the birds, Watch them have all the fun!
My friend will be back, as the day closes & the evening draws its curtain
‘Come back again,O beautiful Hibiscus’ she will say , I’m so certain
With a heavy heart as we bid goodbye, I said -'This my friend, is the cylce of life – Please don’t cry!'